A Birthday, Birth Day, and Nursiversary

Dear Rohan,

A year ago today, I breathed you into the water and into my arms. Your high risk pregnancy made it hard for me to feel close to you in the womb. As you grew bigger and stronger, I found it hard not to melt a little as you rolled, kicked, and hiccuped. You were my constant companion, responding to my voice, pokes, and rubs. By the end of your residency in my belly, I loved you so fiercely and knew I would always fight this hard for you.

Your arrival was quick. The contractions came one on top of the other and I felt like I was riding a freight train. All I could do was hang on and surrender to my body, to you making your grand entrance. Three contractions in the tub and you were here. I will never forget the moment I met you, I said, "hello baby" and you just stared up at me without making a sound. You were connecting with my voice just as I was connecting to your 10 perfect fingers and toes. I was so excited to finally hold you that I announced you were a boy, even though Daddy was supposed to do that!

Breastfeeding you has been such a joy. The first several weeks threw all kinds of hurdles in our way, but we overcame them together. Whether it was my difficult postpartum recovery or your lip and tongue ties, we worked through them together. Without the support of your daddy, my IBCLC friends, and dear mama friends, we wouldn't have made it through. You loved my milk so much that you didn't eat or drink anything else until you were 9 months old!

Even at 12 months, you'd rather have mama's milk than solid food, and I'm still your favorite person on Earth. My voice, smell, and warmth give you more comfort and peace than anything else I can think of. I adore you in so many ways. You have been the sole bright spot through the months of depression and anxiety. I need you just as much as you need me, my darling.

Know that I love you regardless of who you marry, what you do with your life, and where you end up. I am your mother, and I will be your biggest advocate until my last breath. I cannot wait to see who you become.

All my love always,