Well, I think we're done nursing. I know I've said this before, but I really mean it this time. What makes it different? Ethan hasn't nursed in almost a week. The last time he nursed was last Wednesday, 9/19/12, just before bed. Since then, he asks for milk and but doesn't nurse, just snuggles up against my breast. Sometimes he won't even do that, he'll just lay his head on my stomach and fall asleep. Guess he loves the skin-to-skin. He's done the same thing almost every night since then.

One of my favorite pics of us ever, E is almost 6 months old

It's been a long time coming, he's been slowly cutting down the sessions. After I stopped pumping at work back in March, he would jump on me when I walked in the door from work. I didn't mind, I was pretty full by the time I got home. That stopped sometime in July; he'd still want to nurse after I got home, but it he didn't want it as urgently as before. At some point between July and September, he cut out the post work nurse and would nurse to sleep. Now he is all done.

Nursing E at almost 18 months old

I'm really sad about this. We've had an amazing run, 21 months and 9 days. I never thought that we'd nurse this long. I never thought that I'd want to nurse this long. But here we are, just a few months shy of the 2 year mark. I'm especially proud of how long we nursed because I work full time outside of the home. I was hoping to make it to that point, since we were so close. I am also sad that I didn't realize it was his last time. I wouldn't have been so quick to offer him a paci or play around on my phone while he nursed.

To me, it's been about much more than just breastfeeding and nourishing my child. Our adventure together has given me a purpose and direction in life. For years I've felt directionless. Two years ago, I still didn't know what I wanted to be when I "grew up". Then E was born and we had our rough start. As our nursing relationship developed, I realized that I wanted to offer moms non-judgmental support through their rough times. It really lit a fire within me and I am so excited that I am on the path to making a career out of something I'm passionate about.

So what do I do now? Do I keep offering? What if he asks for it? Should I let him? Mamas who've been through this, I need your experiences please. Sorry this post is kind of all over the place. I've been feeling kind of all over the place with this.