A lactation consultant came to our house for a home visit when E was 2 weeks old. I was having a break down and was ready to give up nursing altogether. She was a great help with nursing and also left me with a surprising fact about nursing women: orgasm can trigger a letdown. The reason? Oxytocin. The same hormone that causes the letdown reflex is released during sex. I did not learn this in my birth class!
Can't wait to see what search engine terms lead people to this entry.
My libido was non-existent for a long time after E's birth. I was dealing with breastfeeding issues, a new baby, and no sleep. I would've rather taken a shower or a nap than get busy. I was also looking at my post pregnancy body and trying to figure it out. I'm not even going to go into the lochia (ick). I'm thankful I didn't have to deal with any tearing, stitches, or scarring from labor.
The first few weeks of breastfeeding after E was born were filled with nursing him, pumping my milk, and repeating all day. My breasts no longer seemed sexual. Heck, they didn't even seem to belong to me. They were functional and providing my baby with nourishment. A friend came up with the best term for how it felt: my breasts were no longer fun bags, they were feed bags. All the nursing and pumping left me feeling very touched out.
In what was supposed to a be a sweet gesture, my dear husband D bought me lingerie for my first Christmas as a mother. I might not have had the best reaction to it. I asked him what the hell was wrong with him? The last thing on my mind was sex, let alone actually putting some thought into what I was going to wear for sex! His response, "I wanted you to know that I still find you incredibly beautiful and that I love your body. We don't have to use this now. I'm ready whenever you are ready." Cue melting and me feeling like a jerk.
Things have gotten much better since then. We have a routine and sex is a part of it. E starts off in his crib and ends up in our bed so we need to take care of business efficiently. I have even bought some nursing lingerie!
D & I were lucky enough to spend the night away at a posh hotel while my parents were in town for the holidays. They watched E for the night while we got to reconnect. We ended up going away on the same day the lactation consultant had come to our home for a consultation. One year later, true to her word, I leaked on the bed.